Proactive vs. Reactive Self-Care
The topic of self-care has been written about to death. What it is, how to do it, why it’s important… But I noticed that I don’t often see the distinction between proactive and reactive self-care. It’s something I help people with quite a bit, so I figured I’d talk about it here!
Reactive self-care is what we do in reaction to stress or burnout. The feeling has already happened, it’s in our face, and we need to do something about it. This is the version of self-care we usually think about first. We hear the phrase “take care of yourself” and think about what we do after work, or on a bad day, or when we’re sick.
Examples: taking a walk, listening to music, bubble baths, watching your favorite show, catching up on sleep, venting to friends, etc.
However, I’ve found in my career that proactive self-care is just as important - or perhaps even more so. Proactive self-care is what we do to prevent ourselves from succumbing to stress or getting to the point of burnout. These are regular behaviors we set up in our lives to keep us sane and functional (for as long as possible).
Examples: scheduling time off, limiting work tasks to work hours, creating your schedule/caseload within your limits, making time to eat lunch/drink water, going to therapy, meditation, etc.
You’ll notice that there’s some overlap here. Things that we do as reactive self-care could also be things we do proactively (and vice versa). Maybe you meditate when you’re super stressed, and also to prevent yourself from getting too stressed. Or perhaps you use your own therapy to prevent burnout, and to deal with burnout when it happens. The key is simply to make sure that you have enough of both.
Think of it this way. You can know all the things that make you feel better when you’re overwhelmed, and you can do them religiously. But what are you doing to prevent yourself from getting there in the first place? Sure, you can’t keep away stress/burnout entirely. But what can you do to minimize it? What proactive things can you set up to make your burnout less severe, less frequent, and more manageable?
Or, you might have your schedule and lifestyle set up in a way that makes sense. You’re being as proactive as possible, within reason. Yet you still get burnt out from time to time, and you don’t know what to do when it happens. How can you cope when you eventually do get stressed? Have you been so hung up on prevention that you forgot to plan for how to heal yourself? What can you do more of to address those feelings as they come up?
It seems like people usually tend to do more reactive care and forget about the proactive side. But there are definitely folks who get stuck on the preventive side and deny or avoid doing reactive care. As always, balance is key. Balance, and awareness. Don’t wait until the car is on fire to take it to the mechanic. And don’t pretend that it’s not on fire because it “shouldn’t” be on fire.